Even worse, though, was Christmas Day 2017, which I spent in accident and emergency. Sue and I are cricket fans, and had travelled to Melbourne to achieve the lifetime bucket-list ambition of attending the Boxing Day Ashes Test. On Christmas Eve we went for dinner at Docklands, a newish urban renewal district, apparently modelled on the development of the same name in London, that was still very much a work in progress.

Afterwards we waited for a tram at a badly lit stop, and when one arrived I stepped off the platform in my haste to get on board, fell over and landed painfully on my right wrist. Note that though it was the festive season I’d had only a couple of beers. A night of intense pain ensued, and the next morning we headed off to  the RMH’s emergency department. The staff were entering into the spirit by wearing reindeer antlers, flashing Christmas tree lights and ghastly jumpers.

Though the place was quiet, as we waited to see a doctor we kept getting bumped for more urgent cases who we could hear arriving by air ambulance. As they say, there’s always someone else worse off than you. I was admitted as a day patient and given a bed and some lunch.

A scan showed I’d broken my wrist but, thankfully, would not need surgery. The CT machine was shaped like a huge white doughnut, and in a further Christmassy touch a large white ball with eyes, nose and mouth had been placed on top, turning it into a giant snowman. The nurses, porters and doctors were all friendly, helpful and kind throughout my stay, shrugging off the fact that they were working on Christmas Day.

Despite my sling and some lingering pain, I wasn’t going to retire hurt – the following day I took my place in the stands at the Melbourne Cricket Ground. Two days later we were back to see Alastair Cook post the highest score against Australia at the ground, a fabulous unbeaten 244.

Verdict: Not recommended as a way to spend Christmas, but the staff and level of care were excellent.